When we think of newborn babies, we often imagine them as cute, chubby, and rosy-cheeked little bundles of joy. We picture them with tiny fingers and toes, soft hair, and innocent faces that melt our hearts. We may even use words like “angelic”, “precious”, or “adorable” to describe them.
However, the reality of birth is not always so kind to newborns. Depending on various factors such as genetics, health, and delivery, some babies may look quite different from our expectations, and even unattractive or “ugly” to some people.
This was the case for me when I gave birth to my first child. After a long and difficult labor, I was exhausted, sore, and emotionally drained. When the nurse handed me my baby boy, I was surprised and disappointed by his appearance.
He had a misshapen head, a bruised face, and a scrawny body that made his head seem even bigger. His skin was blotchy and peeling, and his eyes were barely open.
To be honest, I thought he looked like an alien or a monster. I didn’t feel the rush of love and joy that I had expected to feel when I first saw him. Instead, I felt confused, repulsed, and even a little ashamed.
Was this really my baby? Did I do something wrong during pregnancy or labor? Why didn’t he look like the perfect baby I had seen in pictures and movies?
It took me a while to accept my baby’s appearance and to realize that it didn’t define his worth or my love for him. As I held him and fed him, I started to notice other things about him that made him special and lovable. His little grunts and sighs.
His soft hair that smelled like milk. His chubby cheeks that quivered when he cried. His tiny fingers that grasped mine.
Slowly but surely, I began to adore my baby. I sang to him, talked to him, and cuddled him as much as I could. I didn’t care if he was ugly or cute, because to me, he was my son and he was perfect in his imperfections.
Looking back, I realize that my initial reaction to my baby’s appearance was partly due to my unrealistic expectations and societal pressure to have a “perfect” baby. We are bombarded with images of flawless babies and celebrity moms who seem to bounce back from childbirth with ease and glamour. We are told that motherhood is supposed to be a magical and blissful experience, and that any negative feelings or thoughts are signs of weakness or failure.
But the truth is, birth is messy, painful, and unpredictable. It can leave both mother and baby exhausted, traumatized, and vulnerable. It can also bring out unexpected emotions and challenges that may take time to process and overcome.
As a society, we need to be more open and honest about the realities of birth and parenthood. We need to recognize that every baby is unique and valuable, regardless of their appearance, gender, or abilities. We need to support new parents in their journey of discovery and adaptation, and not judge or shame them for their feelings or choices.
In the end, what matters most is not how our babies look, but how we love them.
Love is not based on physical appearance, but on connection, care, and commitment. Love is what makes us human, and what gives us the strength and resilience to face the challenges and joys of life.
Soмe infants are indeed unsightly. My infant was ugly. Yet, the мajority of 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥ren outgrow it, and eʋen if they don’t, it’s certainly character-Ƅuilding.
